Added: Giancarlo Selby - Date: 16.11.2021 15:08 - Views: 48203 - Clicks: 7663
One of the most neglected topics of discussion in the Christian Church is sex…at least, sex within marriage. This is shocking and appalling, considering the Bible does not shy away from sexual references at all. In fact, the Bible commands married couples to engage in sex.
Sex is the culmination and ultimate expression of love and marriage, but so many Christians refuse to talk about it. In fact, many times we are more comfortable talking about what is sexually immoral, and we sometimes forget that sex is something we are supposed to be doing, as long as the context is right. Photo Credit. To make a long story short, there were a of saints and writers who, due to their own sexual compulsions and issues began to speak out against sex, condemning it as something inevitable and necessary, but not something to be enjoyed.
Sex was to be disconnected from pleasure and celebration and only used for procreation. Over time, though attitudes about sex may have become more liberal, married couples still suffer from sexual problems. A sexless marriage can leave spouses feeling rejected, lonely and distant from their spouse. Lack of physical intimacy leaves spouses with little respect, love and communication with one another.
Sex is vital to marriage. Let me say that again. Paul explains the importance of having sex with your spouse in the New Testament:.
Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. The problem is, many of us are not. If this is you, you are living in sin.
Your sexuality is a gift to you from God, and it is a shame to let it fade away. Photo Credit:. If you are living in a sexless marriage, or you are not having pleasurable sexual experiences with your spouse, there is hope! As the Creator of sex, God will always provide a solution for your marriage so that you can fully enjoy His gifts.
But, this may mean making some big changes to your attitude and your actions. The Bible gives very few rules regarding sex in marriage. So by all means, experiment and add some variety to your sex life! Something that may have been your go-to years ago or even weeks ago may no longer be pleasing to you. Be willing to make changes to accommodate your changing body and emotional state.
It is when sex becomes boring that you start drifting towards a sexless marriage. What I mean here is allowing your sexual being to become a part of who you are all the time, not just in the bedroom. This is the problem I have with the attitude of modesty. When we confine sexuality to what we do in the bedroom, it makes it hard to attach to it as part of who we are and it becomes something that we do. Be willing to examine your own sexual needs and wants. Fantasize about things you could try with your spouse. Get to know your sex organs and what feels good and what may feel good coming from your spouse.
Read Song of Solomon and see what parts you find most appealing. Then tell your spouse what you find. Albeit sometimes uncomfortable, we have to communicate our sexual needs to our spouses. Most people are desperate to know what will please their spouse sexually. You are good enough no matter the outcome of sex. Your spouse enjoys sex with you, no matter what happens. Your sex organs are attractive no matter how they look that day. These are things you have to remember if you want to cultivate your sexuality.
Performance anxiety is one of the things that makes people avoid sex in marriage. Learn to stop focusing on what is happening during sex, and learn to appreciate your spouse and focus on how it is feeling. Sex is something beautiful and pleasurable and is a gift that was meant to be shared by married couples. We spend so much time boxing it in and judging it that this fact is easily forgotten. Your spouse desires and deserves your body sexually. So learn to appreciate and accept your God-given gift. My name is Bonnie and I am a Christian wife, mother of two young children and a Professional Counselor.
My passion is helping women discover and cultivate their Godly sexuality and to help men support, encourage and uplift their wives as they do. I blog at Love, Marriage, and Sex, where I provide marriage advice, sex tips and how to intertwine your faith with your sexuality. I also tackle some of the tough sexual questions that many are afraid to address from a Scriptural viewpoint. Follow me on Twitteror Pinterest! Thanks you for pointing it out that God loves sex. Our God is great in all His des, so sex must also be a great adventure. We should hear more of this in church.
I try to talk to her. Or perverted, or unhealthy. But no matter how I try or say, or do. It tares me apart inside. How can I get my wife to want me sexually. I want to experience my wife intimately and not be made feel dirty. I read of all the great marriages in the comments. And feel as if the church has really lacked in this teaching. Or they just skim the topic enough for everyone to joke or falsely brag about their sex. I love Christ and try to be the man of Christ wants but I do fail. In which I will I just think we both need it. We listen to Smalleys teachings yet when something is said in my favor.
Hi Troy, we appreciate you stopping by. From your comment, it seems you are in are in a frustrating place. Additionally, you might also consider going to counseling alone as a therapist may be able to provide some insights. Praying for you and your wife as you navigate this challenge.
I never thought about why we do not teach, guide or discuss married couples on sex. This article is thought-provoking for a lot of reasons. I hope that it will be a topic that others will speak about as well.
Thanks so much for stopping by. Excessive stress is the main culprit behind performance anxiety in men and women. I want to stand up and cheer! I am married, and was incredibly blessed to find the person who would be my husband at a young age and thankfully he is my only sexual partner. I sometimes feel like I am the ONLY Christian woman who actually enjoys sex and believes sex should be a priority of marriage. Many men and women need to talk about it, as it can cause ificant problems in marriage.
Dear Bonnie. I think what you said is true. And I appreciate you for being bold enough to say this. Thanks Priya! Sex is a wonderful thing that God meant for spouses to enjoy!
The Church needs to do a better job addressing it for sure. Nice post! I think sex in marriage is very important- we actually made a resolution this year to have sex at least once a week all year… with two kids our time gets put on the back burner so we are working on it. Thank you Savanna! And what a great resolution. I also have two young children so I know how sex can get pushed aside.
It will go a long way in helping you maintain intimacy in your marriage! I love love love your blog! I just got married so this is wonderful to read about!! I am just starting up my blog so would you follow me too? Hi Amy! Good luck with your blog! Beautiful insight. I will be following you on your blog journey:. Congratulations on your upcoming wedding! Gift Guides Christian Resources.
My Amazing Valentine. When Independence and Submission Collide. What a great question and thread! Love the sex positive attitude. Yes I think the body of Christ needs more such messages. Thanks for stopping by. Leave a Reply Cancel reply Want to see your lovely face by your comment? Get a free custom avatar at Gravatar.Sex in a christian marriage tips
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